What’s a normal drinker anyway?

A question that I used to ask myself over and over again was “why can’t I drink like a normal drinker?”

But what is a normal drinker? Is it someone who can just have a couple of drinks? Someone who doesn’t harm themselves by drinking? Someone who doesn’t suffer as a result of drinking?

To be a normal drinker is somewhat of an oxymoron because alcohol is a psychoactive substance that alters the brain and body. Drinking any amount of alcohol harms your body, your brain, slows you down, affects your movement, and affects your thinking. Furthermore, there are many people out there who may look as though they are normal drinkers, when in fact they’re not – you never really know a person’s private struggle.

It’s more helpful to ask yourself why is drinking a problem for you, because it gives you some personal responsibility instead of comparing yourself with others. Thus, in order to answer that question, it helps to understand the key influences that lead to problematic drinking.

What external and internal influences lead to problematic drinking?

Alcohol addiction emerges from a number of different influences which are psychological, physiological and social, as outlined below:

1) Your environment.

External environmental factors such as relationships, the quality of your home and work environments, and the level of stress in your life particularly during childhood are all influential factors that lead to harmful drinking. So are internal environmental factors such as your mindset, and the food and water that you consume.

2) Your genetics

Bear in mind that humans have only 30,000 genes which is actually the same number of genes as mice, and interestingly, a grain of rice! Your genes do not by any means tell the entire story. By saying that your problems are only genetic is another way of saying that you can’t control your life’s path which is harmful way of thinking that takes you away from empowerment. The genes may load the gun, but the environment is what triggers the gun.

3) Your society and culture.

Particularly in Western culture, we’re conditioned to have an individualistic approach to life which means that we strive to reach personal goals. This often happens at the risk of abandoning the social and emotional needs of ourselves and of others.

Addiction isn’t a brain disease, it’s a result of multiple factors.

Therefore, addiction isn’t a brain disorder or a disease. It’s a result of circumstance, environment, mindset, and genetic and psychological tendencies. Addiction is simply your method of avoiding suffering/pain/hurt – that’s what addiction is – it’s a coping strategy.

When we’re children and we experience any form of stress or trauma, we create behaviour patterns and belief systems that are there to protect us from that stress or trauma. Those belief systems and behaviours remain in place even when they’re no longer useful later in life. They will stay there until we change them, but they’re so deep in our subconscious that they’re very difficult to change. So that’s one reason why your drinking is problematic, why you can’t just have one, why you suffer as a result of your drinking, and why you struggle to control your drinking.

Will drinking always be a problem for me?

I believe in the saying never say never, because it is possible to change your relationship with alcohol and to one day be able to drink ‘just one’ without having to impose rules on yourself (and I mean true true freedom). However, I believe that this is only possible if you spend time working on your subconscious programming on a deep level over a number of years.

To gain true freedom from alcohol you need to let go of why you can’t be like others. Instead, it’s more helpful to focus on yourself, why drinking’s a problem for you, and what you can do to change. Only then can you work towards a place where you don’t need alcohol to enhance anything in your life. That’s where true liberation lies. Once you’re truly liberated, you won’t be wishing that you could drink like a normal drinker, because it’s likely that you won’t want to drink!

Can you recognise how your early life coping mechanisms may have contributed to your drinking? I’d love to hear about your experiences.

Love ❤

Hayley x