How has your week been, what’s been new for you lately?
It’s been an interesting week! I’ve started TM (Transcendental Meditation) to try and calm down and relieve stress, which has been quite interesting, and something I wouldn’t have done in a thousand years if I was still binge drinking.
Tell us a bit about yourself. What do you do for a living? Tell us a bit about Reformed Characters. It’s interesting to hear about the motivation that’s behind your brand.
I live in London and work in design 9-5. After moving to London I found I was just drinking more, spending every weekend hungover, in jobs I hated and “living for the weekend” and then feeling like a shell of myself by Monday. In 2017 I did Dry January, and then from there started to take quite large chunks of time off drinking, and couldn’t believe the difference it made to my life – anxiety, stress, depression, money worries – all just lifted for me and I was like wow this is amazing, I want to spread the word on this, and Reformed Characters was born.
When and why did you start drinking, and what did that look like for you in the early days?
I started drinking properly around 14/15 years old. We lived in a really small town and there was little else to do, it was an immediate escape. I hit it hard from quite a young age and was also really struggling with my sexuality so it was a perfect storm.
Did drinking become a problem for you and if so, how did it start to impact your life?
This is a difficult question. I would say I’ve encountered drinking on every scale there is. In my early drinking days I ended up in quite a bad relationshop where we would drink wine every single night, that was a very messy situation and what I would deem a “drink problem”. After moving to London my drinking changed and would be more weekend focused, but complete binges which would leave me reeling for days. Now that I’ve educated myself on it, and how it works, and addiction as a disease model etc., it’s not something I would classify as a problem for me personally – but I have been there so I know what that can be like.
At what point did you begin to think “I need to slow down” or “I need to quit”? Could you tell me a bit about that process and how you went about reducing and/or eliminating alcohol?
It was the Summer of 2019, spending every day on the park with friends in the sun, drinking. And then days in bed feeling awful. My hangovers had got far worse. I started to feel very depressed from drinking, and realised the fun of it had really started to wear off for me.
Did you get any resistance from friends or family when you decided to go alcohol-free? I think that’s a big fear for a lot of people who are thinking about quitting drinking.
Living somewhere like London we have so much to experience and enjoy on our doorsteps without needing to get pissed. I was lucky to have friends that really supported me and never really pushed me to drink.
How have you benefitted from being alcohol free? Can you list 5 benefits?
1. My mental health is infinitely better. I was a classic depressed angry young man and I have no doubt if I carried on the way I was going I would have committed suicide at some point.
2. I feel in control of my life and I don’t regret things.
3. I’m happy! I know what happiness is for me now and how that makes me feel.
4. I’m accountable. I’m not cancelling plans 24/7 because I’m too hungover to do anything.
5. I have a plan. I feel like I know where my life is heading, and my bigger goals, and what I want from my life.
What’s your approach to alcohol now? I know you’ve been sober for around 2 months. Do you intend to stay sober?
Personally, I’m happy with my mindful drinking, living in the moment, and not putting the pressure on myself to be sober 100% of the time. I spend months at a time without having a single drink. And then one weekend I may decide I really want to go out and let me hair down, and that’s enough for me. My hangover lasts a week and I tell myself I’m never going to do that again for the next 3 months now. I think at this point in time this is what works for me.
Why do you think there’s such a huge binge drinking culture in the UK? Do you think this will ever change? What are your thoughts about the future of non-alcoholic drinks?
We live in a society where a vast majority of people aren’t happy with their lives, their work, their prospects. Alcohol is a quick and easy escape and breeds the “living for the weekend” lifestyle, spending 2 days going crazy followed by an entire week trapped in jobs and situations that they aren’t happy with. I don’t believe binge drinking comes from a place of happiness, from my own experience. I think non-alcoholic drinks are extremely exciting, especially the brands we have in the UK. They were a really crucial tool for me in stopping drinking, and are still something I religiously will buy.
And finally, what advice would you give to people who are thinking about quitting drinking?
Quitting drinking can seem daunting and unachievable when you are going into it the first time. Mindful drinking and sobriety looks different for everyone. You have to take that from a personal level and think “what is my situation, how does this look for me?”. Start small and aim for a month off, then maybe 3 months, and then think “how does this look over my year?”. For me it all comes down to what makes me feel good, and what are my boundaries with this.
Reformed Characters are all about being unapologetically alcohol-free. Check them out here: https://www.reformedcharacters.com for all things AF.
Which AF drinks do you like? Let me know in the comments!