The first few months of sobriety can be daunting because you’ll be experiencing lots of firsts. Some firsts will be joyful, and others will be difficult. Managing uncomfortable emotions isn’t easy and that’s why many people reach for alcohol, because it’s an easy way to stop feeling uncomfortable emotions in the short-term. You might not even realise that your drinking is serving this purpose, and you may not see the connection between difficult emotions and your alcohol intake.

So once you’ve got some sober time under your belt, how do you manage uncomfortable emotions when they inevitably arise? How can you handle discomfort in a way that keeps you sober, healthy and happy? The best way is to combine practical strategies, self-care, and mindset work.

Distract yourself

This is definitely a short-term solution but sometimes we need a quick and dirty solution especially if you’re in the grip of a craving. If it’s possible, plan a distraction ahead of time that you can carry out when you’re feeling like you want to drink. Then when you’re in the moment of craving, you’ll be prepared with a distraction method. Go for a walk, brush your teeth, listen to some music, cook a meal, or try something else that suits you. If you want to get deep, then breathwork is a fabulous way of tapping into your autonomic nervous system and calming down your cravings. Try this alternate nostril breathing exercise for instant calmness. In Sanskrit, it’s known as Nadi Shodhana pranayama, which translates as “subtle energy clearing breathing technique.”

• Sit in an upright position with your legs crossed and relax your shoulders and jaw.
• Place your left hand on your left knee.
• Lift your right hand up toward your nose.
• Exhale completely and then use your right thumb to close your right nostril.
• Inhale through your left nostril for a count of 5 and then close the left nostril with your fingers.
• Open the right nostril and exhale through this side for a count of 5.
• Inhale through the right nostril for a count of 5 and then close this nostril.
• Open the left nostril and exhale through the left side for a count of 5.
• This is one cycle.
• Continue for 10-20 rounds
• Always complete the practice by finishing with an exhale on the left side.

Watch Adriene Mishler (otherwise known as Yoga with Adriene) in this Youtube video.

https://youtu.be/OhBU2CcOkSM?t=335

Treat yourself with kindness

The mind and body are deeply connected, so if you treat your body well, your mind will feel calmer and happier, and equally if you treat your mind well, your body will be able to support you with good physical health. If you’re mentally struggling and your desire to drink is strong, treating your body with kindness will make a world of difference, because when your body receives kindness, it will then transfer that kindness to your mind. Make sure that you’re drinking 3-4 pints of water per day, because water is vital for the functioning of every single organ, every tissue, every cell, every neuron, and the functioning of the entire human system. Next, make sure that you’re eating plenty of wholefoods, fruits, vegetables, wholegrains, and plenty of plant-based protein. Again, the food that you eat is connected to your mental wellbeing. A processed diet will give you a poorly functioning brain and it will increase your stress, anxiety, and will impair your ability to think clearly. You may also want to consider supplementation to make sure that you’re receiving a wide range of vitamins and minerals. Then, my favourite form of self-care is to pamper the body. Have a hot bath with mineral salts, treat yourself to a massage, do some yoga or some stretching, have a warm shower and enjoy the feeling of hot water on your skin. If none of those resonate, have a think about how you could pamper yourself. It’s super important for your wellbeing that you feel cared for and treated with love.

It’s also important to treat your self care as a serious non-negotiable, because the better you treat yourself, the better you can be for others. I’ve written about the relationship between self care and discipline in this post.

Feel your feelings

If you‘re struggling with uncomfortable emotions whilst trying to quit drinking, then it’s helpful to acknowledge your emotions rather than avoid them. As the saying goes, you can’t heal what you conceal. It takes courage to face challenging feelings, because instinctively you’ll want to run away from them. See if you can engage your ‘child mind’ by facing your emotions with curiosity as though you were a child. What does the emotion feel like? How does it feel in your body? What’s uncomfortable about it? You could try writing these questions down in a journal and spending some time reflecting on the intricacies of your challenging emotions.

Practice acceptance

Practicing acceptance is also helpful because it takes away the need for controlling your emotions. Accepting that you’re feeling sad, upset, or angry is a first step towards obtaining peace of mind and successful sobriety, because it means that you can allow the emotion to dwell within you for a while, rather than trying to push it out. If you can sit with your emotion, you will be more likely to resolve that challenging emotion and it will get less intense over time. On the other hand, if you try to avoid it, it will keep coming back. It’s like chopping the head off a weed. It will relentlessly grow back, and you will be spending your time and energy fighting it.

And remember that just as the sun rises and sets, everything passes, including your challenging feelings. I hope you find some comfort.

Love, Hayley

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” Alan Watts.